If you don't know what going on I’m not going to catch up up now. So unless u r in the know, I’d just not read this.

I look at the calendar on the fridge every day, mentally crossing off the days as if it were a countdown to when my world gets ripped apart layer by layer. Smiling through this has its benefits and its draw backs. Instead of walking around like a crying zombie for the next two months, I choose to wait until it’s actually happening.

Don't think of this as the end, but as a new beginning he says.  But a new beginning means there was an end to something. Who knows, it could be the beginning to something good.

I'm not ready to say it’s over. I know what I need to get help with.

This could fix the problems and he could finally deal with his emotional baggage. I'm smart enough to not convince myself of that certainty. He could take too long and it could be too late. I have to pick up those pieces and put them back together without him regardless. And what if he does take too long? Then it’s not just my heart I am responsible for.  All I can do is hope for the best and expect the worse.

My plan of action is acceptable if not exciting. I am happy to move in with somebody understanding, and I apologies in advance for the nights filled with tears to come in the beginning. Now here comes some more of the draw backs. Because I am harboring the tears that I refuse to let fall for the moment, I fill up on any other stress possible.

 I want to micro manage EVERYTHING around me, grasping anything I CAN control in my life right now to replace the uncontrollable. This means short temper with coworkers, frustration with not having every detail in order with the big move. This means wanting to know every detail and move that has to do with my brothers and the stupid decisions my mother is making at the moment. I had finally learned how to ignore her problems, and live my own life, letting them cross enough to call it a relationship. And now, I’m going back on that. I crave anything to focus my emotions elsewhere. 

I see and feel myself fill with frustration and anger and emotion over EVERYTHING.  Frustrations with the lack of answers form the apartments, when all in all they have no answers for me yet. Frustrations with the decisions my mother is making, when I already know from years of experience that I should expect no less from her and there’s not much I can do.

As I sit here trying to pack things into boxes and D-DAY approaches, going from rarely used items to the more important things, I can feel the lump in my throat. Yet I still refuse to let it out. 

I'm the one who chose to continue like normal until we actually part. Probably because I want to get my fill in case this IS the end.  And I know men show their emotions on a delayed timer if at all. Yet when he says we still have a whole month, babe! During my minute laps in tear holding, I find no comfort. It’s like having a countdown to the day you die, and yet you know how you are leaving, you don’t know what will be there to receive you. I suppose that the only way to describe how I am feeling, to compare it to death and the age old question of whether or not there is LIFE after death.

I know what you’re thinking, and yes I have learned my lessons with past mistakes and relationship.  I know that if I want this to last that I have to do this. What en extreme version of if you love something let it go. Or maybe that’s just it. It’s a saying that we have all heard, yet we don't realize just how extreme it is until we are actually doing it. And we torture ourselves in the process.

The worst part is while I sit her, letting my insides decay in pain, those I love around me are happy! Things for them are improving, as if all the happiness I once had left me and went to them, and in trade a received their hard times. Now I’m not blaming at all if that’s what you are thinking. I am nothing but happy and supportive for them, but it doesn’t make that sting go away. I can pretend to be happy with them for now anyway. I have a month, right?

Part of me see's there happiness pulling them away from me when I need them the most. More good things for them means less time they have to see what I am not saying out loud. Less shoulders to lean my head on. My heavy head that I have shoves tears into every orifice possibly so to not have them spilling out. And so the only thing to carry this weight is my very own shoulders. The muscles already normally tight from my ginormous boobs are now screaming in the pain of my neglect to ease the weight or rub them smooth.

Have a good day babe; see you when I get home.

I wish at the very least that these words didn’t remind me of that calendar! The ticking clock that brings me closer to when home is in a new place. Without him.

 

Home.

hey dudes.

its 3am, and im really bored so i thought id blog. Sooo, Niki made this new layout for me, i really like it. I still don't understand that HTML crap, i never learned it. Never had the oprotunity really.

So Dane hates the picture of him and I. He thinks he doesnt look good in it. I, on the other hand, LOVE it. what do you guys think?

My brothers wedding is saturday. I have been shrugging it off when he tells me how much our grandma has been tryign to controll the whole thing untill today. Shes been saying stuff because of Denise's dress, which is black with white designs, and is GEORGOUS!, but she doesn't like it because its not traditional. Well, neither is their wedding! They don't want it to be! and Denise likes it so i guess my opinion is it is her wedding and she likes it, so thats all that should matter. Well, today my grandma texts me, (yes i have a technology savy grandma who texts,) and says since I am the best man, I am supposed to write a toast. So im like, okay, I'll write one. Then she shoots back to make it nice, not a joke. I'm thinking, I wouldn't make it ALL a joke anyway, but, are you kidding. If I am writing it, then it will be how I want it. But I didn't want to come of as being a bitch, so i just said that I will write it to my personality. I think that is fair. So all is well, except the whole writing it part. I have no idea what to write!

I'm excited for my dress for the wedding, its super cute! I just hope the weather is warm-ish.  But they do say that rain is good luck, and i fear they may need it because though they look really good on them, they got eachothers names tattood on eachother. I don't want to be a mardar, but thats a bad omen and maybe the rain will cancle it out?

I am extremley nervouse about my first (and hopefully only) PEDICURE! I am TERRORFIED of feet. I meen, I can get used to some after a LONG time, like a boyfriends, a sisters, MY OWN, but since I hate them, why would I ever dream of letting somebody touch mine. Yet, my sister along with my nail lady have convinced me that it is neccesary for the shoes I am wearing at my brother's wedding and that on my appointment to get my nails filled, I am to be pedicured as well. I will be shaving my legs and scrubbing the feet directly before hand to save any uneeded embarrisment along with their uglyness.

I got a digital camera for my birthday and I've been using it like crazy. i have added a bunch of pictures on here that you should check out as well as getting used to the camera so i can use it this Saturday.

oh! so work on monday was sooo frustraiting. First, I get there very much on time and i plug in the callworks, do all the open stuff, start preping, when i decide to test the callworks and again, it says we are closed. So I call Holly and get no answer because i think she was still in class, talk to Jon and we decide to call Bob. Leave him a message, he calls me back, but i was cleaning and missed it. So I call him back and it goes straight to his voicemail, m ind you its one minute after i missed his call. So I call again and this time it works, and he tells me to mess with the time on it and call him back and tell him if it worked. Well, it didn't. So i call him back and he says to unplug it and he would come in in the morning to look at it. He said we could plug it back in at five, and then unplug at close, but Jon and I decide to just leave it unplugged to avoid any discrepancy. So, its really slow like every monday and I start super cleaning for Bob the next morning, and i get a phonecall from callworks asking me to plug it back in and it would be fixed momentarily. Laughing at the irony of it, i do so and its fixed. whew! 

Then, on an odd note, the pepsi people call for our order and they tell me that they are out of stock for pepsi but will hopefully get a shipment in time for our order. Can somebody tell me how it is that the pepsi company out of pepsi? huh.

So everythings normal and slow and we let half our crew go home and all of the sudden i hear this noise. It sounded like a fire alarm you'd have in your house, but thats not what the fire alarm at work sounds like so I'm like, What the Hell is making that noise? After checking it out, it was the alarm system and it had a funny message like "AC FAILURE" or something on it. Im like what??? So i call Holly who tells me to call them and after i answer a billion 'whats your middle name's 4th letter from the end' type of questions, we find that it just has a low batter that they  need to  come and replace in a few days.

Are you fucking serouse? oh it goes on.

So as always on our lovely Mondays, labor is bad and its really slow, so we send everybody minuse the closing drivers, Jon, Tim, and myself home at around 6 or 6:30. Then 7:30 hits, and we are suddenly slammed. It probably seemed worse than it was because i was the only one on the makeline with 12 orders, leaving Jon and Tim to get the counter, cut and pull, answer the phones that didn't have a pause between rings, and try to  sheetout everything because that was also the exact moment we ran out...of, well EVERYTHING! This lasts untill about 9:15 and then we were again dead. I have to say I am impressed with our closing skills though, becuse we had everything really clean, closing checklist done, swept, mopped, and all the other duities finished and out the door by 10:20! Plus our labor was 25, which is a never on Mondays.

 

I am running out of things to ramble about and Kimba is falling asleep on my robe, so perhaps I'll go to bed. And by going to bed i probably meen laying down and watching TV.

Nighty Night!

so dane and i moved in together and all seems to be going well. we were pretty much living together before but not ALL my stuff is here and i dont pay another rent. my birthday is in a week and im excited to have my little brother stay the  night at my house. i love him so. 
work is work, same shit a different day. lots of crazys to deal with but eh, could be worse.  my cat is insain! she always thinks its time to play, mostly when im sleeping. shes funny

i suddenly dont feel like writing anymore,,,,

ive been sick for a week now and i dont have health insurance and i odnt know what i have. symptoms: sore throte, taste buds on the tip of my tounge are owy, inside of gumline on fron teeth a bit swolen, yet i do not ahve a cough or a stomach ach really, in and out of night sweats and tired really easy. what the hell iis wrong with me?

so pretty sure things are shity right now. i knew i was getting sick, but holly crickies! i spend 5 hours in the fing hospital today. walked in with a 104 temp, though i though i was cold, couldnt swallow, dehidrated and all that. 5 hours, 8 tubes of blood, i xray, 3 ivs and two antibiotics injected into me later, i was aloud to leave under the usumption of a two day minumum "bed rest"  GAY! did i mention that i have no health insurance to im just waiting with joy to see this bill..

my head still pounds and i cant eat much at all, this is so dumb. it sucks even more because on the weekends is when i get the bulk of my hours, and pretty sure i cant work the weekend. i guess its okay because i have to work tuesday so i can make up some then. technacaly my docs. not says i can come back to work sunday, but tiffany asked if i wanted that off too ans honestly, yea i prolly do, but i feel bad enough so i told her that if holly needs me than she needs me, but if not, id like that one more day of rest so i know i wont push myself and get sick all over again. i havent heard anything about the schedule, so i dunno whats going on with that...

FIVE YEARS AGO...

• How old were you?: 14...... wow little!
  
• Where did you go to school?: haslett
  
• Where did you work?: if you  count "raising" my brother as a job...
  
• Where did you live?:  haslett, MI
  
• Where did you hang out? around dutch hills i supose
  
• How was your hair style? dyed some funny color im sure
•  
• Did you wear braces?: nope, never did
  
• Did you wear glasses?: never to that either
  
• Who was your best friend?: prolly either alexis hall or wendi spencer
  
• Who was your regular-person crush(es)?:  i thi nk i was with jason?
  
• How many tattoos did you have: none
  
• How many piercings did you have? 15 in my ears
  
• What car did you drive?: I didn't have a car.
•  
• What was your favorite band/group? no doubt..
  
• What was your worst fear?: being alone i would think?
  
• Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: umm, among other things
  
• Had you driven yet? yes. i was a bad kid i guess
•  
• Had you been arrested? Never
  
• Had you been to a real party yet? yes.
  
• Had your heart broken? dont think so?
  
• Single/Taken/Married/Darivorced? I was with jason i think
  

Q:WHAT MADE YOU SMILE YESTERDAY?
A: dane ;-)

Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 8 THIS MORNING?
A: sleeping

Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING 15 MINUTES AGO?
A: scrubing a bathtub

Q: SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IN 1995?
A: i dunno, i went to school, tied my shoes?

Q: LAST THING YOU SAID ALOUD?
A: "looks good babe" to the livingroom

Q: HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS DID YOU DRINK TODAY?
A: umm, juice and rasberry lemonade

Q: WHAT IS OUT YOUR BACK DOOR?
A: I have a backdoor?

Q: LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A: ozzfest tickets

Q: WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR CHANGE?
A: in my car in a jar.

Q: WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE TODAY?
A: its accualy nice out

Q: BEST ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
A: vanilla

Q: LAST RAINBOW YOU SAW?
A: a couple months ago while comming outa walmart

Q: DO YOU WANT TO CUT YOUR HAIR?
A: I jsut did like a week ago

Q: DO YOU WATCH THE OC?
A: absolutly not

Q: DOES YOUR SCREEN NAME HAVE AN '' X '' IN IT?
A: yes

Q: ARE YOU TICKLISH?
A: yes....

Q: WHAT IS THE NEXT CONCERT YOU'RE GOING TO?
A: I dunno?.

Q: WHO IS THE COOLEST PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
A: thats not fair, everybody is cool in my life, lol

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A: pizza

Q: DO YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW?
A: yes, 3-C

Q: EVER BEEN HUNTING?
A: uhhh, not really. went once with my dad to make him happy, sat in the bushes for hours and then that was that

Q: WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
A: showering.

Q: DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
A: not that im aware of, dane calls me crash sometimes

Q: ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
A: i dunno, i think im  an average sleeper when i can accualy fall asleep

Q: BEST MOVIE YOU'VE SEEN IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS?
A: umm...i jsut watched brother grimm last week?

Q: WHAT KIND OF CELLPHONE DO YOU HAVE?
A: A verizon phone

Q: WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
A: somethign off of cruel intentions soundtrack

Q: DO YOU THINK ANYONE MISSES YOU RIGHT NOW?
A: no :-(

1.Who was your first prom date?
first asked by paul, but accualy attended with brandon

 2. Who was your first roommate?
i guess unofficialy it was sam groh

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? 
bacardi and coke

4. What was your first job?
lunch room servaces :-(

5. What was your first car? 
im still driving it!

6. When did you go to your first funeral? 
when i was seven for my great grandpa pat :-(

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
i guess technaly 12 but i still went to the school, so for real real would be 17

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
umm, i know it started with a C and she was fing crazy, left bruises on my arm crazy...campbell! thats it! mrs campbell!

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Jr. year to NYC with choir.....which was a ru ined trip thanks to the wifebeater

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Wendi Spencer

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?
Jamie McKenzie and we still talk ocasionaly..if we run into eachother

12. Where was your first sleepover?
Laura- this girl who lived down the street from me when i was like 4.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
depends. usualy dane or my sister, but other times depending on what it is ill call wango or nate.

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
never been, only been a flowergirl. and i was jsut a onlooker at my sisters wedding.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
 look at the clock.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
ozzfest i think, or maybe it was rusted root, they wre right around the same time, i saw meatloaf around there too, so i dunno.

17. First tattoo or piercing?
my ears, usualy all girls first. the only tattoo i have is the one i got in april.

18. First celebrity crush?
JTT

19. Age of first real kiss? 
well i first kissed a boy under the table in first grade. my first real kiss aws with donnivon, must have been like, 12         . 

20. First crush?
oh god  are you kidding??  i dont remember.

21. First love? 
donnivon

let see, i have my computer up and running at danes. that rocks ebcause i have my messanger on my computer and i can talk to people again. classes are going okay, i wrote my first paper and all that.

dane and i are good. hes good to me and i love that i can trust  him in everything that he does. he went out with the boys and went to a titty club and i wasnt worried at all. he told me all about it the next day without me having to pry and i love that he wouldnt get "personal" lap dance because he knows better. i love that he bought me a shirt because he was still thinking about me. i love how happy he makes me. i think when we bicker its over stupid shit that either im being over emotional about or because we're both tyred or somehting stupid.

lets see what else? umm,,, im doing this little carberet thing with my old voice teacher in lansing. singing makes me happy again. i missed it allot.

i needa go apartment shopping. needa roomie though......

umm, yea thats about all i can think of saying, so peace out.

so classes started and i didnt realize untill the day before, yes go alyssa. luckily im taking the classes online so i could "attend" class. so i go to lansing to get my books and my teacher hadnt reported one of the books to thebookstore yet and yet our first assignment uses taht book. so im mad because i already went all the way down there and spent all my money on my other bills because i thought i was good for now. but no. gay, not sure what im gong to do.

so not only do i not have that book, but check out what the assignment is. i have to write an essay on whatever chapter in the book. THEN i have to submit my rough draft to my classmates. then i have to read ALL of my classmates roughdrafts, and fill out this edditing sheet for each of them. then turn in my final draft, all those editing sheets, AND write ANOTHER essay ABOUT MY ESSAY!!! what the hell????

my other class is cool though, i jsut read a bunch of kids books. the first book we are reading is ahrry potter and the sourcers stone! ha!

i am super extied about singing again though. im in this kinda carbet fundraiser thing, jsut like old times. down side it im already cut from a bunch of scenes i was suposed to be in because my work scedule keeps getting fucked up and i didnt have this or next tuesday off so he jsut cut me. But ive still had thursdays and i will go on thursdays no exceptions. im already sad i got cut i dont wanna get cut more. so whatev, f tuesday i guess, i have thursday. i think the week of the show is sep. 15th. we have a ton of rehersals that week, like, that tuesday thursday and friday i have to take off of work, but i think its worth it. doing shows like this was my life and i miss it so. i know theres a rehersal on that wednes day too but im not sure i have to be at taht one. dont think i do, but ill triple check in time.

so yea, thats exciting!

dane is sick hes a big baby when hes sick. hes getting me sick. im a big baby when im sick too. i cant imageine the both of us sick together

life has been full i suppose. danes final money crunching is finaly going to pay off when he pays and moves in this weekend. we're working on possibly buying this truck from my grandpa, we're going to go to my grandparent's house 1pm sunday i think, either that or 9am, so bah....
work is work. been a little less drama filled lateley but thats probably because all four managers havent been together in the same room yet...cant wait til friday.....


sudenly i lost motivation to update anymore....

life has been full latley i suppose. ozzfest rocked, good time with the modrea. work has ben dramafull, but nothing i can't handle. dane is wonderfull as always. you know what ive dcided is one of his best traits? its that he'll appologise when hes wrong, even if its the next day. the fact that he was still thinking abou it shows he really cares. like the other nigh he got kinda moody meen during sex bc (and this may be tmi) but i hadnt cum and it was taken forever and i believe the phraze he used is 'im not a machine' came about and i said something that night how i wasnt mad becuase women don't cum every time, (well most) but i thought it was rude. he mumbled something about being tired and really hot or w hatever, but we went to bed and that was that. i didnt even hink of i afer really. but this morning he came up o me and gave me a kiss and said "im really sorry about last night. i was grumpy and when u didnt cum i felt like i failed.
a total guy apology, but sweet in its own. he was going out tonight and i keep telling him to be good, not because i think hes not going o be, but two words: BAR FLYS hes like, would u quit saying that, im never bad and you worry unnecsarily.
also cute.
ph and this one "id give you the shirt off my back if you asked"

he likes me, lol.

ozzfest once again rocked out with its cock out (even if ozzy did abandon detroit!)

work was so gay today

its so funny the different ways girls work than guys. a girl, wants to have a serouse conversation, the guys like okay we can talk...while ill play video games. yea not fealin it. though the good part is when i walk away and leave the room, he did come in after me to clear the air. and its funny because 10 minutes later, we are all good. communication is key.

um, ps to the entry i jsut posted, nikki's puppy is fucking adorible!!!

im ahveing one of those night where i cant shut my brain off. i was tyred and sleepy, dane and i went to bed adnd all of the sudden i realized i was still very awake. my mind was wondering everywhere. counting the number of people ive ever slept with, and which ones i regreg. th inking about the reationship im in, and the happiness i have in it, thinking about the drama that goes on in my life and what i should do.
part of me wants to email jared. not to start a fight or exchange haisty words, but to explain the bitterness i have. to tell of all the hurt hes caused, to explained the drama of saturday night. but i dont know if thats a good idea, i dont know if he'll jsut twist that into something else fucked up and start shit again.
i partly want to email dee and explain to her that contrary to what jared twisted my words and told her i said, that i said nothing bad. in fact i said i felt for her, because i know she cared for jared and her love language is girfts. but that as an outsidere (and im not the only one who sees it) he uses her. the "business" they own is something jared wanted, cant afford, and uses her for. but i dont know what that will cause as well.
as happy as i am in my reationship with dane, im frightened because i know i do love him, but i know that i cant express that too him in fear of driving him a way. we've been together for like what, 4 months. thats a little soon to be admiting those fealings istn it? maybe not, but i won't be the first to express that. theres a difference between saying u make me happy i heart you and sayding i love you. theres still so much he doesnt know about me. theres a whole part of my life when i was doing horrible things one shouldt be doing he doesnt know about. he thinks ive lived a fair life, has no idea of my slutty days or my past drug usage. what i overcame to get where i am and to become who i am. he thinks that part of me is young and untainted. its not exactly. i just have a more positive outlook on things than he does and to him, that screams nievness for some reason. i don't know how to make him understand. he doesnt always get my sence of humor either. he always thinks im being serouse or freaking out or whatever when im jsut teasing him. but i do know this. he makes me smile allot. he makes me incredibly happy. our relationship is great. we can talk about things and about our relationship and make compromises because thats what relationships are about.my favorite thing in the world is to wake up next to him. i heart him along with all his plusses and flaws and i think he does the same with me. its funny to think the guy i saw and thought was gorgouse at work and jsut wanted to sleep with eveolved into this, and i am increadibly happy with it. we ar our own demi and ashton, lol.
ive been thinking about where my life is right now and how i got here and where im going and if im doing what it takes to be happy and successfull. i started as a music major, hated the school i was at, and left to start over, but not as a music major. that decision was hard enough, but with the new legislation passed in michigan basicly eliminating any hopes of employment as a music teacher in michigan, i think i made the right decision. my limbo inbetween schools that i am in right now doesnt make me feel fantastic, and not knowing where to transfer next is complicated, and knowing that im only half timing school so i can work full time and survive makes the distant reality of me becomming a teacher at all that much more far away. its frustraiting. i feel like ive chosen my third choice for a cereer and its so far away. i wanted to teach choir in highschool, but ive already explained that one. then i still wanted to teach something in highschool, but im not interested or good enough at one particular subject to do that i suppose. i supose i could do the history thing, heck maybe i will. but as of right now elementary education is what i say is my major, teaching them their abc's and all that. but, i dunno.... is that even the right choice, will i drive myself nuts? i heart kids, but not 40 of them at once. at the end of summer camp counsiling, i was beat! what am i going to do if thats my life? its my third choice.
and theres this whole period thing still. i havent let it bother me really untill dane said something about it today. what it comes down to is this; i havent had my period since the first week of april. (i remember distinctly because of my birthday) but im not pregnant. first off, all ive been with in the entire period of time is dane, never without a condom. and tmi for all of you, he doesnt even cum int he condom, he always finishes with head. and ive taken pregnancy tests, three in fact, whenever i start thinking about it again, and they are all negative. if i was pregnant and the tests just werent picking it up, i would be showing by now, fealing different, gaining weight, getting sicka nd craving strange foods. none of that going on here. no weight gain, loss if anything at all. no sickness, no nothing. i don't have an answer as to what is going on and i dont have the health insurance to find out. what is wrong with me i wonder? am i dieing, do i have ovarian cancer, freakish menipause, did i run out of eggs, are the all backed up and blocking the tubes? LOL i guess id feel better if i knew i wasnt dieing. trust me, i dont miss the cramps because i got horrible onese. i dont miss the week of bleeding and worrying about tampons and feeling not so fresh. i dont miss the horniness i get when im ragging and the sex i cant have. but serousely guys, what wrong with me?

i loged in and clicked update, but now that i did i have no idea what i want to say.....

it is the fourth of july and i am going to watch fireworks danm it! last year i was in england and note to all of you, of corse they dont celebratet he day they lost us. however, they did have a fabulous gay pride parade taht day. but i still missed my fireworks.
im mad because i wanted to ahve my little brother today because i miss him and love him and we enjoy blowing things up. however my mother said i couldnt have him today so i made other plans. then i get a phonecall today saying that i could ahve him ON THE DAY OF AFTER ID CHANGED PLANS. so it made me look like the bad guy to not take him. FUCK thats dumb. so i saw him today and explained the situation and told him id spend thursday with him. he was okay with that, he understood. but i still feel like shit.
i am however going to see fireworks at kensington park with dane, which should be fun. he found a bunch of bottle rockets and firecrackers last night and he lit up like a little kid. it was cute.
my sister is also mad at me prolly. we all know that when i wake up im realyl grumpy. and ti woke up to a text from my g randmother and the voicemail from my mother that i mentioned before. and then my sister called and asked wheere i hid my make up, because i hid it due to the fact that she trashed it. i told her i hid it from h er bc she trashed it but i was about to tell her where it was, but she got mad and hung up. now i have to deal with that too. sweet.

stevie announced his retirement today. its a sad day in hockey town. now all they have to do is trade shanny and im sure ill slit my wrists.